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Saturday, July 17, 2010

I don't want to grow up

At FDR, publicly complaining about parental traumas is a highly held value. It starts with Moly’s incessant whining about his own childhood. Everyone else joins into the protocol so they can belong. Once it is fully established that the normal parental values of limits and discipline are fully trashed as destructive, the FDR acolyte engages in endless self evaluation, self work, inner exploration, mecosystem analysis, real time relationships, blah blah blah.
I thought back on my own childhood to see what ‘psycho trauma’ my parents gave me. I came up with one or two. Do you remember any injustice or outrage by your parents? If your parents were human, it is likely you do.  You might even talk about it on occasion. Maybe to your parent or maybe even a therapist. Most times, you come around and remember the wonderful things your parents did. You remember the love they had for you. Later in life you come to realize how much they gladly sacrificed of their own life to make sure you were cared for. And you love your parents all the more.  This is one of thousands of natural progressions in the course of history in a family. 
That thought sequence between a bad memory and all the good ones is short circuited in the FDR community. At FDR there is no limit on how much wallowing you do on the matter of parental affronts. You are encouraged to carry on endlessly on the matter. All other members are required to show sympathy for you whenever you mention a specific incident. At FDR, it is highly encouraged to show just how bad you really had it. I have personally witnessed FDR members who make stuff up so they can seem more damaged and therefore more accepted. All are required to care deeply about any complaint made by another member. “That was horrible.” “That must have been terribly painful.” Or Moly’s personal favorite: “I am so sorry you had to go through that. I mean that sincerely.”
Molyneux requires strict compliance with how to ‘behave.’ Any deviation from the expected behavior is met with ridicule by the lieutenants. If the affront it too egregious, the offending member is banned.
As an aside, this is classic collectivism. All care for all. No individual is matters more than the health of the FDR collective. But I digress.
The complaints of FDR posters on this site are almost comical. I say ‘almost’ for two reasons. The first is that each comment represents a great deal of unnecessary sadness that will go unresolved if they get caught up in the FDR drama. And second, it is pathetic that anyone would carry on like this when there is real parental abuse going on in children’s lives throughout the world. Here are a few typical complaints from postings here and on FDR:
“My parents didn’t care what I thought.” “I don’t have a single memory of my mother coming down to my level and talking to me when I was a young child. I was always looking up at her.” “I was so angry. I felt so helpless that my mother would not listen to me. She just sent me to my room. It was horrible!” “I had bad parents. They did not take my intellectual arguments about FDR seriously. My father just made simplistic comments that I was being idealistic.” WOW. That is some serious abuse.
The growth into adulthood is hard. It is easy to remain in an FDR induced quagmire of the self righteous adolescent anger. Moly and his wife are on a Peter Pan mission. You don’t have to grow up. They encourage you to remain in a suspended state of emotional growth. And for as long as you do, Stef and Cristina keep the donation stream intact.


  1. You hit the nail on the head. I, too, have referred to him as part of a Peter Pan complex. My son who was born weighing 7 Lbs. plus claimed to have been a premie. He came out with other outrageous twists of what really happened in his childhood to the applause of the FDR club. he was encouraged to verbally beat us his mother at a distance of 2500 miles. Thanks to Molyneux, he dropped out of college and did not make it through that decision process of how he plans to support himself.
    Signed, a frustrated Defoo'd parent

  2. Ok so this is just an Anti Stefan Molyneux blog. So as an objectivist what is YOUR solution? Seriously. I have only read Practical Anarchy and I see nothing wrong with it. Oh and I should probably mention that my childhood was normal and happy.


  3. Ok this has me curious. If he is doing what you claim... then are there any criminal or civil charges against him? I kind of jumped the gun earlier. I am an Anarchist because people should be able to keep and share the fruit of their labor as they see fit (and for many more reasons).
    So anyway... have any charges been pursued?

  4. I am sympathetic to the anarcho capitalist contruct. Ayn Rand posited such a utopia in Galt's Gulch. There are two elements of reason. Logic and empirical evidence. Moly is full of logic, but zero's out on empirical evidence. History is very unkind to Anarchy. DRO's will NOT rise from the ashes of a societal collapse. Thugs, tyrants and totaltraian regimes come from anarchy. So my solution (in very much of a nut shell) lies in the constitution. Not perfect, but as close to natural law as there is. It already exists. Let's fight from within. I confess we are losing so far, but not nearly bad enough to warrant a desire to wish for the failure of the world's last and only hope for freedom.

  5. What Moly and his wife are doing is morally despicable. But I don't see it as illegal. However, if you have any ideas on a legal breech, there are parents, family and friends all over the world who would be interested in your thoughts.

  6. By the way Benjamin. You say you lived a normal happy childhood. So did I. So did my son.

    Have you defooed?

  7. Edmund, how far into Stef's podcast's did you get?

    For the record I don't think Stef is saying you can't enjoy the good memories of your parents... that's a given. But it doesn't make it any less wrong when abuse rears its ugly head.

  8. Actually Stef does say you should expunge all memories of your parents. He has a rather famous podcast where he speaks in calm and peaceful tones as he calls for the listener to enter a meditative state. "You are on a boat ....your parents are on the shore... you are drifting slowly wave goodbye... you are losing sight...they are gone from your mind." He routinely counsels those public call in sessions who have trouble with FOO dreams and family memories to see the memories of your parents as destructive "bats in the belfry of your consciousness." The mission is to take a tennis racket and find them and kill these memories. Really sick stuff.

  9. For those FDR members whose so-called abuse amounts to, as you said, “My parents didn’t care what I thought” or ”They never listened to me"...all I can say is that I hope someday they find themselves in a room filled with people who were actually physically and/or sexually abused as children. I dare them to look those people in the eye with a straight face and tell their "tales of woe" to those who have truly suffered and who have a first-hand knowledge of what abuse really means that most FDR folks could never even remotely fathom. Nobody's childhood was perfect. We all had to deal with things that were unfair. But to take it to the level that Moly has taken it with many of these FDR recruits is, to me, despicable and beyond reprehensible. But hey, gotta pay the bills, right? Right? Right?

  10. When parents disregard or ignore your feelings and thoughts, that's called 'invalidation' and is actually a pretty serious form of abuse, often because a victim finds it difficult to put the blame where it rightly belongs and instead blames themselves. More on invalidation:

    One of the most destructive effects of more subtle forms of child abuse is that a person thinks "there's something wrong with me" - the bulk of the problems caused by child abuse are a result of the child's conclusions about the abuse, not the abuse itself. So it is actually possible for sexual abuse and more subtle verbal abuse to cause similar problems for self worth and self destruction.

    BTW, an invalidating environment as a child is thought to be one of the main causes of Borderline Personality Disorder, which is an emotionally crippling disorder which can completely screw up a person's life.

  11. I also have a family member who has defooed based on his association with FDR. He posts about the abuse he suffered from his parents - which never happened. I watched this kid grow up - he was hyper, he was difficult, a constant handful but they never gave up on him and he grew up to be a pretty okay person until he came into contact with that site. And now he has turned his back on everyone. And after spending some time on the FDR site trying to get a handle on it, I have to say I have never read so many pathetic posts from people in a constant state of blame. And the degree of self centeredness is horrifying. It is like they cannot step outside of themselves long enough to stop focusing on their perceived torture and invalidation as a child to move on with their lives. I don't see much of a life for any of those poor souls as long as they continue to wallow in their own self pity. Who knew people could be so easily sucked in to such a state of self destruction?

  12. It will be interesting to see any of these defooers as parents some day. Twisted world. Having kids is probably frowned upon in the moly world.

  13. Well my son just became a victim and I don't quite know what to do? My son is 26 and lives with me, should I move him out the house? - because life right now is not very pleasant and I don't feel I should be a victim of his warped perceptions & share my life with the energy of knowledge of some warped couple in Toronto (Mr. & Mrs. Moly - Virtual Cultists)in my home. Its terrible what is happening, my son was happy and loving life up until he started with FDR. My son just quit university - he's two credits away from his degree???? - Nice Job Moly!. I am a really good mother, perhaps too good and will go to my grave knowing that, but for some reason my son sees me and his Dad as enemies after listening to FDR for only 3 months. My son has become like a serpent - very angry, abusive and breaks things - this is a 360 turn he has done. He cut his father off (mind you his Dad was a bit controlling and they did have the odd fight - but mostly those fights were about him smoking MJ). I listened to Moly's podcast and was horrified, and actually felt a sickness and saw him for what he truly is - a slimeball - he had a terrible upbringing, his perception though? - We don't really know the truth do we? I have a high HQ and I am very intuitive - here is my impression of the slimeball.

    His hatred for his Mother and Brother are projected onto anyone who listens to FDR, and so much so one realizes that his anger has fueled his need to broadcast his pain through the medium of his domain through the internet the "FDR business" I'm guessing it's more free therapy for him (well he did marry a phyc too, had to to survive - Hey and paid therapy too - he subliminally trolls and brainwashes for donations. He's so broken his anger has turned into an infectious need to destroy others happy lives. Well I know why - Its because he did not have a happy life and now wants others to feel his pain. Oh Mr. Moly there are much better ways to heal yourself! He's so resentful of the world? Much like Hitler was.

  14. Well folks, wake up - can't you see what he is doing. He's on a mission to try to change the world through young impressionable people most of them who have not even left home yet, or on a low income, or no income, or in college and who don't know how to survive yet in the world and who are just trying to make sense of the world as it is! This has CULT written all over it......

    Shame on Mr. & Mrs Moly to confuse even more these young people, who, if they cut off their families - have no means of support. Did anyone any ever hear Moly make a constructive suggestion to these young people? That, if you are not happy at home, or with your parents - sure move out, but move out responsibly, and safely and sure let your parents know how unhappy you are with them. No, he tells all young people to go, RUN!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! Did Moly ever consider if any of these young people are in a financial position to do that? Of if they have the learning skills to set up home by themselves, its pretty complicated trying to rent an apartment, you need deposits, references, a job?? Its also pretty hard to find a job today too? Did anyone ever hear Moly explain how to move out on your own while DeFOO'ng, or how to do the right thing while in a DeFOO? Another No! Well ask yourself why? How would it hurt for Moly to be honest about the pains of detachment and that moving out on one's own is a complicated process. Well imagine a young person doing this with no help or support, because he's cut all ties? Imagine if this young person needs help and won't call his parents or friends for help because he now has this painted illusion that all parents are bad?

    Well some you person is going to commit an terrible act - its just a matter of time! - either to himself, his parents, or others - because he/she may become so desperate in a DeFOO and defy all reason and logic untoward - because they have been brainwashed. cultist behavior at is most highest....

    Truth is that if Moly wanted to help the world, he would be doing it by advocating safe practices and philosophizeing to the young in a positive, constructive, learning way? He does in in a militant way, scary folks? Scary? I wonder what real impact of his irresponsible ways have had?

    Mmmmm.... Karma is a real bitch, it sneaks up on you when you are not looking and bites you hard in the ass, could be an illness you get, could be an accident you are motto in life is.....all actions have a negative consequence, positive or negative - Hey Moly this applies to you too....

    Well if anyone who is going through same, pls feel free to post if you have any advise